Giving Up
by HPfanonezillion
Summary: Taking place a month after the ending of The Fiery Heart, Adrian is becoming disheartened after an inability to find Sydney. Sydney is resistant and desperate for her friends to help her out.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: Here is the first chapter in my new fic. There will be about 20 or so chapters, depending on how it all works out. I hope we can all work together in this excruciating wait for _Silver Shadows_ and come up with some working theories about how the rescue will happen. This is my take on it. Please review. I am also available for discussion on my Tumblr (booksrockmyface)._

_Title comes from Say Something by A Great Big World. Give it a listen._

_Happy reading!_

* * *

Giving Up

A Bloodlines Fanfiction

Chapter One

Adrian closed his weary eyes and reached out with his magic. He felt everywhere he knew, looking for the familiar signs of Sydney's mind. It was as though he could feel a tingling on the edges of his periphery. She was out there, she had to be.

But there was nothing. Even after all this time there was still nothing. Almost a month. He gave a frustrated groan and sat up from the couch. He picked up an ash tray from the table, full of ashes from the cigarettes he'd quit for her—only to start again with the stress of her loss—and threw it across the room, screaming in rage.

His phone rang in his pocket and he answered it, knowing exactly who it would be.

"I know, Jailbait." He said softly.

"You know what?" Jill asked gently.

"That you're trying to study. Or something."

She sighed. "No, actually, I was just trying to have a talk with Eddie."

"A make-out talk?" His teasing was half-hearted.

She chuckled. "Occasional kisses aren't making out. And we're supposed to be related. Anyway, I need you to relax a bit. You're running on fumes and taking energy from me."

He paused a moment. "I'm sorry."

"I know." She took in a deep breath. "Just get some sleep. Eddie and I will bring you food in a bit. I know you haven't gone shopping in a while."

"Whatever you want, Jill." He felt so defeated and he knew he sounded even more.

"Adrian?" She sounded so far away. "Adrian, please don't go away."

He gritted his teeth and tried to find his way back to himself. It took several minutes, but he could hear Jill at the back of his mind the whole time.

"You're okay. You'll find her. Stay, Adrian. Come back to yourself. Come back for me."

"Jill." He whispered.

"Yeah, I'm here." She assured him.

He took a shuddering breath. "I need company, kid."

"I'll be right there."

"Thanks." He pressed end and then sat the phone on his chest. He closed his eyes and dozed as he waited.

* * *

"Don't wake him." Jill warned. "We booth need it."

Adrian came awake slowly. He heard the hushed conversation between his shadow-kissed friend and her guardian. He lay there listening in as long as possible.

"He hasn't found anything? At all?" Eddie asked.

"Nothing. Eddie, I'm so tired." She whispered. She sighed. "Adrian, I know you're awake."

He lifted a hand to wave.

"You could have slept longer." She sat a plate down on the coffee table. "Eat. We'll go to Clarence's tomorrow."

He nodded. "I need to find Sydney."

"I know you do." She said kindly. "We all want her back safe. But we can't get her right now. You'll find her eventually."

"That's not good enough, Jill." He snapped.

She put a hand on his arm. "Hey, don't be like that. Don't give up."

"Jill." Eddie handed her a plate.

"Thank you." She took it and sat beside Adrian. "You can't give up. I won't let you."

Adrian smiled and scooted the food around on his plate. "How are you going to keep me from giving up?"

"I'll figure something out." She smiled, but it melted away. "What would your aunt say if she knew you were thinking like this? Or your mother?"

"Better to be gone, Jill." He said softly.

"Think of Sydney." Eddie said. "We have to find her, Adrian."

"I'm trying." He argued. He slammed his plate down on the coffee table and lit a cigarette.

"She won't be too happy you started that habit back up." Jill pointed out.

"At least I haven't been drinking." He countered as he took a long drag. "Anything from your investigations?"

Eddie shook his head and spoke between bites. "Rose has nothing. Lissa and Sonya have been trying dream-walking, too."

"Which you would know if you would answer their calls." Jill said under her breath.

Adrian gave her pleading look.

Eddie continued. "They've also gotten nowhere, but they both know you're better at that particular spirit skill."

"They have more important things to worry about anyway." Adrian flicked the ashes away and onto the carpet without a care. "There has to be something you missed."

"I missed nothing." Eddie argued. "We know it's the Alchemists."

Jill added, "And you know she's going to be re-educated. The question is where is she being re-educated?"

"It could be anywhere. There are Alchemist facilities all over the world." Adrian smashed out his cigarette and sat down heavily in a chair. He put his face in his hands. "She has to be drugged or something. I can't reach her. She's not sleeping normally."

They sat in silence for a long time. Adrian occasionally mumbled to himself. Eddie kept shoveling food away and Jill looked anxiously between them.

She sighed. "I can't take much more of this."

Both of them looked up at her.

"Please, Adrian, you have to do something." She begged.

"Work on the block, Jailbait." Adrian rubbed his face. "Might help to just forget somehow."

"Forget what?"

He looked at her and the side of his mouth quirked up. "Forget that we're missing someone we care about. Make out with your boyfriend for a while."

Jill and Eddie shared a smile. Jill spoke, "I could probably do that."

Eddie mumbled, "I have a lot to do."

"One of them is me." She said with a giggle.

Eddie smiled. "You've been inside his head too long."

"There are worse places to be." Adrian said with a smirk. His face fell. "God, I miss her."

"We'll find her." Eddie assured him.

Jill stood. "I have a test tomorrow." She watched Adrian anxiously for several moments.

"I'll be okay." Adrian assured.

"If you need anything, you call." Jill kneeled in front of him. "Sleep. At least for a few hours. You're no good to Sydney exhausted."

"Yes, _Mom_." Adrian sighed. "I'll sleep. I promise."

He watched them leave and sat staring at the door for a long time. He moved to the couch, reclined, and once again called up his magic. He reached out as far as he could. Nothing. More nothing. He reached farther, using so much more of his magic than he needed. Still _nothing_.

Adrian let out a frustrated sigh and let the magic drain away. He stared up at the ceiling. All the grief and exhaustion flooded over him. He rolled onto his side and curled into a tight ball. He hadn't felt this horrible in months. Ever since Sydney came into his life and made his life more bearable.

It was dark. So dark. There was a weight pushing down. He needed Sydney. But he'd never find her. There was no way of knowing where she was. She would be re-educated to believe he was evil; something to be feared. And in that, he would be nothing. Without Sydney, life wouldn't be worth living.

But Jill would never forgive him. He had sacrificed so much to save her only to let himself go.

Adrian rolled onto his back and lit another cigarette. He pinched the bridge of his nose to push away the ache behind his eyes.

"I'll finish this and then I'll shower and go to bed." He shook his head. "Talking to yourself, Ivashkov? You're going crazy." He chuckled. "Very short trip."


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: I forgot to mention in the first chapter that this story was the result of a prompt from one of my Tumblr followers asking for Sydrian's happy ending. Please let me know what you think. I'll try to post often._

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Two

Sydney was awakened abruptly. She was still groggy from all the drugs in her system. She looked around to see what had jarred her and saw a set of fresh clothes and a tray of food had been slid into the room via a slot under what had to be the door.

"Get dressed." The voice said. "Eat. You will shower and then we have things to accomplish."

"Like what?" She snapped.

"Get dressed. Eat." The voice repeated.

She stared at the things in the corner. She picked up the tray to find a stale piece of bread and a light broth that smelled like chicken. "You think I could get a cup of coffee?"

There was no answer.

She sighed. "Of course not." She drank the broth and chewed on the bread. It was hard and cut the inside of her mouth. At least it was something. She picked up the clothes. They were plain gray medical scrubs. "Sexy." She sighed. She pulled them on. They hung on her gaunt frame.

How long had it been since they gave her a proper meal? Why had she ever starved herself on purpose before? She knew if she was able to look in a mirror, she wouldn't recognize herself.

The light came on in the case that held her cross. "If you cooperate, you may have this back." The voice said.

"How long do I have to cooperate?" Sydney asked. "And what sort of atrocities do I have to go through?"

"Don't run." The voice warned. A door opened.

Standing outside were two familiar faces, her father and Zoe. Her sister smiled encouragingly.

Her father sneered. "Now, be a good girl, Sydney, and follow these nice women to the shower."

Behind him was a pair of women that looked as though they belonged at Court with tattoos on the backs of their necks rather than here with golden lilies on their cheeks. Another group stood behind them and it seemed much the same.

Sydney gave them a smirk. "Are you that scared of me?"

"Not scared of you." Jared said. "Not yet."

The women grabbed her by her arms and pulled her out of the room.

"You'll be okay, Sydney." Zoe encouraged from behind her.

She ignored her sister. She would never be okay as long as she was away from Adrian. Her mind was still too drug addled to even begin formulating a plan. She was pushed into a long room with several showerheads peeking out of the walls. There were no dividers. She was pushed forward.

"You have five minutes." One woman snapped.

"Soap?" She asked. "A towel?"

The first woman handed over a bar of soap. "We will provide a towel later."

"Strip." The second demanded.

"You've been waiting to say that from the moment you saw me, right?" Sydney said with a smirk to rival any Adrian had ever sent her way. She removed her clothes slowly and then stepped under the spray. She lathered the soap on slowly, keeping her eyes locked with the second woman. This was probably doing nothing to help her case, but she didn't care.

"You've got thirty seconds." The first one snapped.

Sydney sighed and went about rinsing off just as slowly as she'd applied the soap in the first place.

The water turned off abruptly and a towel was thrown in her face. "Finish up."

"There's still soap in my hair." She complained.

"Too bad."

She dried off and dressed and was taken by the arms once more. She was brought down several long halls and lost track of where she was. Those drugs were strong and still working their way through her system. She was brought into a room with a single chair that resembled one found in a dentist office. This was different, however. It had wrist and ankle straps.

After Sydney was put in the chair, she was injected with another drug. This one made her feel odd, but didn't knock her out. Everything was the same, just heightened, more vivid. And then a voice started speaking.

"Humans are the superior race. We are the pure race. Vampires, in all forms, are abominations. We aid the Moroi to keep them hidden. They _mostly_ drink blood from willing donors. Dhampirs are the worst abomination of all. They are the unholy offspring of a union between vampires and humans. They are not to be trusted any more than the Moroi. The Strigoi are to be feared above all. They will not ask for consent. They will drain every drop from you."

The monologue was repeated as the new drugs continued to work in Sydney's brain. After every sentence, she screamed, "Moroi and dhampirs can be trusted."

This went on for what seemed like hours. She continued to scream until she had no more voice. She closed her eyes and continued to mumble her own mantra over and over. She wouldn't let them brainwash her this way. She wouldn't break. She'd never go back to the old ways.

She was exhausted by the end. They unhooked her from the chair and brought her to another room. She was injected with yet another drug.  
"What are you people trying to do to me?" She demanded as the new needle was taken away.

"Trying to teach you what you've forgotten." The technician said.

This drug worked more slowly. She didn't even really feel much effect. Her head slowly started to clear. Her throat was still raw.

She asked, "Could I get some water?"

The technician opened his mouth, but he was stopped.

"Nothing for you, Miss Sage. You're going to watch a movie." It was the voice again.

Sydney snorted. "You should show yourself. Just speaking through a voice box really isn't a way to instill any sort of fraternity in me."

"Patience, Miss Sage." The technician said and then left.

The room went bright and then a screen came to life. It was a pure propaganda piece showing the evil side of the vampires. Fake Moroi flashed their fangs and then drank greedily from the feeders. Moroi and humans had explicit sex while the vampires drank. And then dhampirs were shown brutally beating up anyone that came into their path. There was no dialogue. There were all sorts of sensational scenes. It went on and on. There was no end.

It started over. Just like the monologue, it was on a loop. Sydney didn't know how many times it played. She lost count after twenty. It could have played a couple hundred for all she knew.

She tried to curl into a corner and sleep, but it didn't come. The drugs were keeping her awake. And when that started to fail, they flashed the lights and made the most awful alarms fill the room. She paced, talking to herself, telling herself she didn't believe the things playing out on the screen.

Finally the film shut off and the deafening silence hurt Sydney's ears more than the harsh alarms. The door opened and another set of guards appeared.

"What time is it?" She rasped.

They looked between each other a moment before one answered, "Three in the morning."

She gasped. It really had been hours. Both places. She was exhausted. But she could still feel the second injection working. She wouldn't be able to sleep even if she wanted to.

The door closed to her cell. She stepped over to her bed and found the necklace they had tantalized her with the previous morning.

"It can remain yours as long as you continue to cooperate." The voice said.

And then there was silence. Sydney put the necklace on. "What do you want?" She asked softly.

There was no answer.

She sighed and reclined on the cot. "You are all assholes. Take this away again if you want. I won't change."


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's note: Thanks for all the love, y'all! Please review if you feel so inclined. And if you wish to discuss this or the Bloodlines series (or the VA movie!) you can do so over on my Tumblr booksrockmyface._

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Three

"Still nothing?" Jill asked as the waitress walked away.

Adrian shook his head. "Nothing." He played with his water glass.

"Have you tried maybe talking to Rose?" Eddie asked. He draped his fingers over Jill's on the table. "Or I can call in some Court connections. I have people who owe me favors. People who can do a lot more than make phone calls."

Adrian smiled. "People owe _you_ favors?"

"Of course. I'm too nice for my own good." Eddie stiffened a moment as he watched the door and then he relaxed. "I thought I saw that man."

Jill raised her fingers up and tangled them with his a moment. "You're fine." She assured him.

Eddie nodded. "So are you." He looked back to Adrian. "Seriously, talk to Rose or Lissa. Find out what they know. Brainstorm. Maybe there's somewhere else to look or another person who knows something we don't."

Jill watched him a moment and then nodded. "Abe _would_ be the one to get you what you really needed."

"Get out of my head, Jailbait." He warned with a sad smile. "I want my drink." He waved to the waitress as she passed. "Martini, please. Really dry."

"Coming right up." She smiled and walked away.

Adrian heaved a sigh. "I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Just a little longer." Jill slipped her hand out from under Eddie's and pulled her phone from her pocket. She typed out a text with lightning-fast fingers. She sat it back on the table. "I need to visit the ladies' room." She gave her boyfriend an expectant look.

Eddie looked around the room. It was only a few steps to the restrooms. He nodded. "All clear. Yell if there's a problem."

They'd visited this restaurant several times. Eddie knew the layout like the back of his hand. He watched as Jill walked across the space to the restroom. He heard the door lock above the din of the dining room.

"You be careful, Eddie." Adrian warned. His drink appeared on the table. He thanked the waitress and took a sip. He let out a sigh after he swallowed. "She's the second most important girl in my life."

"I knew this was coming. You've been too caught up in Sydney to focus on us." The guardian commented.

"Eddie." Adrian warned.

"Look, Adrian, I'm not going to hurt her. I didn't even want this right now."

"Didn't want it?"

The guardian played with the straw in his drink a moment. "With all that's going on, I didn't think I deserved her. How could I keep _her_ safe? One friend died on my watch and the other was kidnapped."

Jill walked over. "But I convinced him I needed him. Something to get me out of your head every once in a while. And to get him to focus on the good things. Can't win them all, Castile." She picked up her phone. "Lissa said she and Rose will be free for a conference call whenever you are. I'm staying with you tonight. You can call and give your permission to the matron. You're my older brother as far as these people are concerned."

"No, you need to get back to school." He took another sip from his martini.

"But it's Friday night. I don't have classes or anything." She argued. "I don't think you need to be alone."

He gave her a sympathetic look and tried to pass calming feelings through the bond. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"Are you going to try to find her some more?"

"I have to."

Their food arrived and they ate in near silence. Afterward, Adrian dropped them both off at Amberwood and returned to his apartment. He walked in and looked around the mess. He'd gone through bouts in the last month where he cleaned obsessively to get his mind off Sydney. Then he would drop his ashes everywhere _but _the ashtray and leave soda cans all over the place, accidentally kicking them across the room as he walked and then just leaving them wherever they landed after that.

He sat down on the couch and stared at his phone for several long minutes. Finally he opened the contacts list and found the number to Lissa's private line.

She answered on the third ring. "Adrian, hi." There was a pause and then, "Rose is right here."

"Hey. Jill and Eddie told us what's going." The guardian said. "We've been trying to get someone in the Alchemist office to answer some questions, but when we ask why the Sages were pulled off the case, we just get vague answers. Calls transferred ten times before the line is finally disconnected. Just the runaround."

"Adrian, you should have told me what she was to you." Lissa broke in.

He sighed. "It was none of your business at the time. We were keeping a low profile. Anyway, I know Rose suspected. Didn't you? When we were there before?"

"I know attraction when I see it." Rose commented. "Anyway, I'll keep trying to get someone to answer some questions."

"There's one resource I think we've failed to use." He said reluctantly.

"And who might that be?"

"Who do you think? Someone who has a lot of shady connections. Someone who seems to have a bit of a fondness for Sydney, if I was reading him correctly. Someone who fathered one of the best guardians I know."

"Stop trying flattery, Ivashkov. I'll see if I can get the old man on the case. Want me to pass along your number?"

"Please. And tell him it's urgent." Adrian hated the desperation in his voice, but it was his last best chance.

"I will." Rose assured him. "We're all doing everything."

Lissa broke in. "Jill is concerned. She says you're exhausting yourself trying to find her."

"I_ have_ to find her." He said. He could feel the lump forming in his throat. "What if it was Christian? Or Dimitri? Rose ran halfway around the world to save him. If I knew for sure where she was, I'd go there right now and get her out of there."

"You don't have any training." Rose argued. "How do you expect to get her out on your own? Are you going to compel them all? You'll drain all your energy. And then you'd be no good in an escape."

Adrian sighed. "Then Eddie and Angeline can come with me."

"Maybe swap out Neal for Angeline and I'd agree to it." Rose said.

Lissa added, "Whatever you do, make sure Jill stays where she is."

"Believe me," Adrian said, "I don't need to worry about her on top of all this. It's hard enough as it is."

There was a small silence on the line as they all considered the possibilities of what would happen if Jill somehow stowed away on that particular rescue.

Rose spoke. "Give me a bit to get in touch with Abe. He'll answer my call, but I don't know if he'll be able to get your information right away."

"I'll keep trying the dream walking." He said.

"Get some sleep." Lissa begged.

"I'll see what I can do." He hung up and stared at the phone. He opened the address book back up and found Sydney's number. He'd attempted it before and it went to voicemail. He never left a message, afraid they'd use it against her.

He tried again this time. When he pressed it to his ear, he got a message saying the number had been disconnected. "Damn it." He sat the phone one the coffee table and reclined on the couch.

He called up his magic and reached out to Sydney. He tried to recall the feel of her mind. He added more power and reached farther, searching for her everywhere.

There! Something familiar. He was just about to latch onto it when the connection broke abruptly. He tried to grasp it again, but it was gone.

His eyes popped open. He'd felt her! She was still alive out there somewhere. They had drugged her, he'd felt that much before the connection was lost. But she was out there. He'd have to try again later.

He closed his eyes and was shocked to feel the tears escape. She was okay. They wouldn't kill her. The Alchemists at least had _that_ going for them. They wouldn't kill one of their own. But he knew Sydney would wish for death if he didn't save her soon.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: I hope you guys all enjoy the Vampire Academy movie! Maybe that will help make this chapter more bearable. Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Keep it coming!_

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Four

The next several days, Sydney wasn't allowed to sleep long enough to get fully rested. She was awakened every half hour by a loud alarm and the repeated monologue about the evils of Moroi, dhampirs, and Strigoi.

"Humans are the superior race. We are the pure race. Vampires, in all forms, are abominations. We aid the Moroi to keep them hidden. They _mostly_ drink blood from willing donors. Dhampirs are the worst abomination of all. They are the unholy offspring of a union between vampires and humans. They are not to be trusted any more than the Moroi. The Strigoi are to be feared above all. They will not ask for consent. They will drain every drop from you."

After it was over, Sydney tried to go back to sleep, but was again awakened by the alarm and the recording a half hour later.

After several hours of this—which could have been more than a day—the door to her cell opened. She was again allowed to shower and then brought to the room with the dentist chair. This time there was a machine beside it. They strapped her into the chair and then slipped a cuff around her wrist that was connected to the machine.

"No drugs this time?" She asked snidely.

The Alchemist gave her a hard look. "You won't need them." She pushed a button on the wall beside the door. "But I'm sure you'll be begging for them soon enough."

As Sydney watched, a screen dropped from the ceiling. An image flashed on it. Her heart beat fast in her chest as she saw the familiar green eyes and smirk. She smiled.

And was given a shock from the cuff on her arm.

"What the hell?" She snapped.

"You recognize that man?" The woman asked.

Sydney noticed the remote in her hand. "Yes." Sydney gave her a defiant look. "That's my boyfriend. Adrian." She was given another shock. This time it lasted longer. "Ouch!"

"Adrian Ivashkov. A Moroi royal." The woman said. "He likes to use women, as most Moroi do. For his own pleasure. Like others, he drinks from the women he sleeps with."

"He's not a bad guy." This got her another shock. She screamed out and demanded, "What is the point of this?"

"He's an abusive alcoholic. There's no telling how many woman he's impregnanted."

"None. He always used protection with all those other girls." Another shock, longer. She gritted her teeth.

The technician fiddled with the machine as she spoke some more. "I understand he gets violent."

"He would never—" The shock she was given this time was stronger and lasted much longer. She let out a long, agonized cry.

It went on and on. Each statement she denied, the intensity was increased. She cried out, screaming, begging for it to stop.

"If you want it to stop, then admit that Adrian Ivashkov is evil." The technician said stoically.

"I won't." She said with a sob. "I love him." She was shocked again, causing her to scream so loud her voice cracked. "I love him." She said hoarsely. Another shock. Another scream. "I love him." Again and again. She wouldn't relent.

It went on for hours. Even when she no longer had a voice or the energy, she adamantly said, "I love him. I love Adrian Ivashov, Moroi royal."

They finally let her go. She was exhausted. So much so that they had to carry her back to her room.

Before they left, she said, "You won't break me. Nothing you can ever do will change the fact that I love Adrian Ivashkov."

"You'll break. They always do." The last Alchemist said before he left the room.

Sydney spat in his direction. "Go to hell." She mumbled. She passed out as the door closed.

Mercifully, they actually let her sleep. She slept so heavily that she wasn't fully aware of the dream at first. There was Adrian. He looked as tired as she felt. But he also looked relieved. He ran across the room. As he gathered her into his arms, she realized it was the room in the bed and breakfast. The place where they had first made love.

"Oh, god, Sage." He sighed in her ear.

"This isn't just a dream?" She asked finally.

"No, it's not." He pushed her away just enough to see her face. "You look like hell."

"You're one to talk." She let out a small laugh.

"Do you know where you are?"

She shook her head. "There are only a small number of facilities." She thought a moment. "I don't think they would send me to St. Louis. But it's a possibility. There are also facilities in a lot of the major cities." She rattled off a lot of other places.

He stopped her with a kiss. "How is your mind still working?"

She smiled. "If I don't have my mind, I have nothing."

He tilted his mouth across hers once more. "I'll find you. I promise."

Tears filled her eyes. "They electrocuted me today."

"Sage." He gathered her into his arms again. "Just hold on, we're coming to get you."

"Please hurry." She begged.

She woke up before Adrian was able to dissolve the dream. The alarm was sounding. And then the monologue started once more.

"Humans are the superior race. We are the pure race. Vampires, in all forms, are abominations. We aid the Moroi to keep them hidden. They _mostly_ drink blood from willing donors. Dhampirs are the worst abomination of all. They are the unholy offspring of a union between vampires and humans. They are not to be trusted any more than the Moroi. The Strigoi are to be feared above all. They will not ask for consent. They will drain every drop from you."

"Wrong." She croaked. "All wrong."

It started over again. She closed her eyes and tried to gather back to herself the spirit dream with Adrian. It wasn't just a dream her mind created. It had been real. She kept telling herself that as the voice repeated the monologue. It seemed to get louder with each repetition.

And then it stopped. She didn't know how long it had lasted. She rolled over and rubbed her thumb over the necklace. She wasn't made to remove it. She was glad of that. She was able to hold out that last thread of hope that Adrian would find her.

The alarm sounded again and she bolted out of her bed. She lifted up her fists, ready to fight this time. She wouldn't let them do this to her anymore. She took a swing at the first figure that got close enough and made contact.

But it wasn't enough in the end. She was tackled and a needle went into her arm.

"Not again." She pleaded as the drug took over.

She dreamed of Adrian. She saw him in the sunlight. She should have known this was a real dream, but she still basked in the sun with him. They kissed and held each other and made love. It was glorious. She could live in that dream forever.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's note: Sorry this took so long. I wanted to update last weekend, but I was under the weather. Feeling better now, so hopefully more updates will happen this week. Thank you for favoriting, following, and reviewing._

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Five

Adrian was rudely awakened by the pounding on his door. He rolled off the couch, he was never able to sleep in the bed anymore, and stumbled to give the person on the other side a piece of his mind.

"What the hell, Jill?" He snapped when he saw her on the other side.

"Maybe if you would fix your sleeping patterns, you wouldn't be so crabby. And you wouldn't be asleep at five in the evening." She held up a bag. "We brought Chinese."

"I'm not hungry." He walked away and plopped himself down on the couch.

"So, what, now you're on a hunger strike? You talked to her. I saw it." She waited until Eddie came in and then shut and locked the door behind him. "What's wrong?"

"She's being tortured." He rubbed his face. "We need to find her."

"We will. In the meantime, you need to rest properly and eat. You'll do her no good when we find her if you are weak." She handed him a plate and pushed a container in his direction. "Eat. You aren't doing me much good, either. Your exhaustion is affecting me."

He sighed and took the food. "Sorry."

Eddie said, "I'm thinking of doing a bit of a crash course for all of us in self-defense. Neal and Angeline think it's a good idea for you and Jill to know a bit more going in."

Adrian shook his head. "Jill's not going."

"Jill _is_ going." She told him. "I'm not sitting here anxious when you guys are on the run from the Alchemists."

Eddie added, "If we hide among the Keepers it will be easier for all of us. It was Rose's idea. Humans, Moroi, and dhampirs hiding together. It's perfect."

"I won't have all my hair products." Adrian jokingly complained.

Jill giggled. "I'll make sure you do. We won't be completely in the dark ages."

"If Angeline is any indication—"

"But they are still better than being constantly on the run." Eddie interjected. "We'll move around enough for them to lose the trail and then it's off to a village of Keepers to hide out for as long as necessary."

"We have to find her first." As if on cue, Adrian's phone started ringing. He looked at the display to see a blocked number. He pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hello, Lord Ivashkov." Said a smooth voice. "How are you this evening?"

"I'm fine."

"And the princess?" He asked.

"Also fine." Adrian answered tentatively.

The man on the other end laughed. "Ibrahim Mazur. You asked for my assistance."

"Oh. I apologize. I have lost a lot of sleep lately. I'm not in my right mind."

Abe chuckled smoothly. "I understand. Rose explained the situation. I have spoken with a few of my contacts, but the Alchemists keep their secrets locked away almost too well. Sydney was one of my main contacts, you know."

"No, I didn't."

"I helped her with something once and she reciprocated. She and Rose also like each other, so that helped with her reluctance at first."

"Yes, I know that." Adrian swallowed. "I was able to get in contact with her in a dream. She doesn't know where she is. She's being… re-educated. She said there are a number of facilities that could be used for that particular feat. She mentioned St. Louis as the main facility. But I don't know if it would be that obvious."

Abe chuckled. "I have found with the Alchemists, they do the obvious thing most often. Let me poke around a bit more and we will see. Give the princess my best."

The line went dead and Adrian took the phone away. He stared at the screen for a moment and then put it away.

"So what now?" Jill asked.

Adrian chewed thoughtfully. "Well, I need blood to think better. Then we need to work on the self-defense. I think I can get someone to help out. And maybe Jackie will have had some success tracking." He shrugged. "I also need to find a way to get someone to figure out how we could get past security."

"I can work on that." Eddie said. "I've talked with Rose. Whenever we're ready to move, she'll meet us and help with the rescue."

"I appreciate that."

They were silent for a long time, lost in their own thoughts. Adrian noticed Jill and Eddie exchanging fleeting looks across the room.

"You two should just make out already." Adrian teased. "I don't know why you always seem to sit so far apart most of the time."

"'They come first.'" Jill quoted. "He thinks if he stays away as much as possible when we aren't making out or in other private times that he'll do a better job."

"Don't you realize how perfect your relationship is, Eddie?" Adrian asked. "Not only 'they come first,' but specifically '_she_ comes first.' You don't even have to worry because you will die for her no matter what. It's definitely better than a situation like, say, Rose and Dimitri who would probably risk jumping in front of each other instead of Lissa if the situation is particularly dangerous."

"But they wouldn't. Lissa is the one who is important." Eddie said.

"I would hope. But there is no telling what a person would do for the one they love." He took a cigarette out of his pocket and headed for the door. "Now, if you will excuse me."

Jill said, "Love made you quit smoking once upon a time."

"Yeah, well, then my girlfriend got kidnapped by a secret organization. I think she'll forgive me taking it up again. If she still remembers how to love me." He went outside, leaned against the wall, and lit the cigarette.

Jill joined him after a while. "I hope she doesn't forget how to love you." She said softly.

"But she will." He said just as quietly. "They'll remind her I'm a monster. They'll remind her that I must drink blood to survive. That I may decide her veins to particularly appetizing and drain her."

"Would you do it? Become Strigoi to escape it all?"

At the fearful sound in her voice, he looked over. "Do you think I'm that weak?"

She watched him a moment before she gently asked, "If we can't save her, what will you do?"

"Not turn Strigoi." He promised. "I won't leave you, Jill. Not forever. If I can't save her, I don't know what I'll do. But I do know you're just as important as her, so I won't ruin life for you. But I'll need your help."

She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "I'll do all that I can. Promise."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and he wrapped a free arm around her shoulders. They stood that way for several minutes in silence as Adrian finished his cigarette. Then he kissed the top of her head and let go.

"Let's get some work done." He headed back inside.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note: Thank you for your patience. I am so sorry these updates are coming slowly. I'll try to write a new chapter in the next couple days. Thanks for the follows, favorites, and reviews. They are very much appreciated._

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Six

"They haven't broken me. They haven't." Sydney told herself that every night at the end of her re-education sessions. "Not yet. Not ever."

She was awakened every day—she wasn't sure if it was night or day at all—by the alarm and the mantra, "Humans are the superior race. We are the pure race. Vampires, in all forms, are abominations. We aid the Moroi to keep them hidden. They _mostly_ drink blood from willing donors. Dhampirs are the worst abomination of all. They are the unholy offspring of a union between vampires and humans. They are not to be trusted any more than the Moroi. The Strigoi are to be feared above all. They will not ask for consent. They will drain every drop from you."

She sighed and dressed. She had been moved to another cell with an attached bathroom. It wasn't much bigger than the last cell, but at least she had a tad bit of privacy. They were starting to trust her.

She was brought once more to the room with the large screen. She was sat in the chair, but was given no drugs this time. As the film played, Sydney made the proper faces of a horrified Alchemist. She was letting them believe she was disgusted by these images. She even looked away at the scene with the sexual act between a Moroi and a human that concluded in a bite to the human's neck. She even let out a retch and covered her mouth.

Sydney was returned to her room after that and left alone. There was silence. She sat down on her bed and found a book sitting on her pillow. She picked it up and found it was a well-known Alchemist propaganda novel. She picked it up and held it to her chest. A book was a book, after all. They really were showing her the trust that she was winning back.

If only they knew. She was playing them like a fiddle. And she was sure her friends and Adrian were close. He'd visited her dreams a few more times. She still wasn't sure where she was exactly. But she listened and, judging by the majority of accents, she was pretty sure she was in St. Louis.

She closed her eyes and attempted sleep. But she awoke when her door opened and Stanton walked in.

"Hello, Miss Sage. I have an assignment for you."

"Miss Stanton. I didn't expect _you_." She said it kindly enough.

"I know. Your father has been put on alternate assignment. Your sister went with him. While you have been here, your father was granted custody of your sister."

"That's great news." But she cursed silently. She had to save her sister. But first, she had to save herself. "What is the assignment you have for me, ma'am?"

"Mostly running errands. You aren't yet able to do much more than that. You aren't yet in our good graces. Menial tasks will be best for you."

"Yes, ma'am, I agree." Sydney nodded.

"You will be given a list of errands to run. Most of them will be within this compound, but others will be out in the city as we see you doing what we expect. You will transport some of our less important clients to and from the airport."

"Yes, ma'am." Sydney said again.

Stanton left and the door slid shut. Sydney sat back on the bed with her book and started reading. In the back of her mind she started trying to formulate her escape while she was out running errands.

Later as she slept, the world started shimmering around her. Adrian appeared with a cocky smile on his lips.

Sydney let out a laugh and ran to him. "Oh, Adrian!"

He laughed and held her close. "Hey, Sage. I missed you. But I know we're close to finding you."

She looked up at him. "I'm pretty sure I'm in St. Louis, but I'll be able to tell you a bit more soon. They're starting to trust me. I may get to go outside soon."

"Good. You look great."

"I feel great."

They held each other in silence for a long time. Then Adrian pulled back and kissed her hard on the mouth. "I'll let you get your rest. I think my phone's going off anyway."

The dream melted away and Sydney slept better than she'd slept in a long time.

* * *

Sydney was awakened by the alarm and two pairs of hands grabbing her. She was brought to a new room this time. There was a chair sitting next to a machine that she recognized.

"You're re-inking my tattoo." She said softly.

"Yes, of course. Can't have you going out with faded ink." One of them smiled.

Her mind started running. She hadn't used magic in a long time. And the breaking of the tattoo before was forever ago, too. It seemed like a lifetime. She took a breath and walked forward and sat down in the chair hoping that this wouldn't alter her. She didn't want to lose sight of her escape. The machine started up and she closed her eyes to the pain.

After what seemed like forever, Sydney woke as if from a dream. She looked around. She felt the same mostly, but there was something missing and she couldn't figure out what it was.

They brought her to the room with the screen and a video started. As soon as the first Moroi came on the screen, she screamed and ran to the back of the room. She hadn't been so frightened in a long time. She realized what was different.

She'd been blind before. She knew her previous feelings of friendliness toward her dhampir and Moroi companions in California had been wrong. They'd corrupted her. And now she knew better.

When Stanton appeared, Sydney gave her an imploring look and apologized profusely.

Her boss gave her a kindly look. "You were tainted. It has happened to some of the best of us."

Sydney nodded. "I understand. And I really to apologize."

The older woman nodded. "Now, off to bed with you. We've been keeping you on an altered schedule. Time to fix it." Stanton gave a self-satisfied smile and walked away quickly.

* * *

Over the next several days, Sydney ran messages and files between several different offices. It really was menial work, but she didn't mind it. In the end, she was able to get herself back in the game properly. She was respectful and apologetic to everyone she encountered. They all knew of the disgrace she'd brought herself and her name.

A week after she was let free, she was given her first task outside of the compound. She brought one of her superiors to the airport. As soon as she stepped outside, she confirmed that she was in St. Louis. The layout of the city came quickly to mind and she pointed the car toward the airport.

She looked in the mirror as she headed back to the compound. She noticed a dark car, average. But there was something about it that was familiar. Like she'd noticed it before. She changed lanes. The other car changed lanes. She was being followed.

She sighed. "I guess they don't really trust me after all."

She finished her journey back to the Alchemist compound, watching the car following her to see if she could tell who it was. She was never able to see the face clearly and they eventually fell so far behind that Sydney lost sight of the car completely for long stretches of time.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: I am so sorry for the delay in publishing, I have been working on fluff and the angst just wasn't coming for me. If you're interested, you can check out _I Don't Want to be Unknown_, a Hermione/Luna/Ginny polyamory fluff fic. It's been fun so far and will continue to be so. Anyway, as to this, I will work hard to keep this going. There's not much left. And there's not a whole lot more angst._

_Happy reading!_

Chapter Seven

Adrian's phone rang just as he settled in to call up his magic. He grumbled and reached for it. But when he saw the number, he relaxed.

"He found her." Rose said on the other end. "We're moving fast. Eddie is on his way over. You have a flight that leaves in two hours. Get what you need, you won't be going back."

"Are you serious?" He looked out the window at the Ivaskinator. "She loves the car."

"You can get another. Adrian, this is her life."

"I know." He sighed and headed to his room to pack a bag. "What about Jill?"

This time he heard Rose sigh. "She's insisting on coming. She's on the phone with Lissa right now. Just get ready. We'll make arrangements for your car."

"Thanks, Rose." He hung up and packed all that he knew he'd need for a while. He knew Rose would also make arrangements for the rest of his things.

He looked over his canvases and his eyes caught one of the paintings he'd done in his most recent depressions: a background painted in different hues of gold and brown, all mixed together in swirls. It was globby in places and thinner in others. It was one of his favorites, actually.

He ran to the kitchen and found a knife. He pried the staples from the wood and folded the painting up with great care. He'd have it remounted later. All the others could stay. He didn't really care about them.

Jill burst through the door as she knocked on it. "Get your ass in gear. Don't worry about your stuff. Lissa will set up a team to come get all our things and bring them back to Court. Let's go." She picked up his bag and headed for the door. "Make sure you have a phone charger. We're going to get new ones soon, but you shouldn't let it die just yet."

They were in the car and headed out of town with Trey and Angeline in the back seat. Adrian was shocked at first seeing them, but then he realized they needed all the help they could get.

* * *

Adrian stared out the window. Jill sat beside him and watched him anxiously. He patted her hand every so often. But it wasn't a comfort for him and she was nervous from his feelings and her own.

Jill heaved a sigh and stood. She made her way back a few rows to where Eddie sat. She leaned over him and whispered, "I can't take it anymore."

He reached up and cupped her cheek. "Just a little longer."

"Go sit with him for a while. I'm already in his head. I can't take it sitting next to him, too."

"You'll be out of my sight, my princess." He whispered.

She looked just behind him. Trey and Angeline had landed the other two seats they were given side-by-side. "Angeline, you're with Adrian. Tell him that story about the time you let the frogs loose in biology. That should take up the rest of the flight. Trey, you're here." She pointed to Eddie's seat. "Eddie and I are taking your seats."

The pair grumbled and stood. After some shuffling, the seating was changed. The anxiety Jill felt through the bond slowly turned to annoyance and then reluctant affection for the girl prattling on at Adrian's side. Jill was finally able to relax and she rested her head on Eddie's shoulder and took a much-needed nap.

* * *

"We've been sitting here for hours." Adrian complained.

"Then get out and have a smoke." Rose snapped. "But don't be obvious. Walk down two blocks to that coffee shop. Bring Jill with you."

Eddie opened his mouth to protest, but Rose cut him off. "You go too, lover boy."

He nodded and the three of them left the vehicle. Adrian immediately lit up as he walked through the shadows with Jill and Eddie trailing behind. "Why haven't we seen her yet? Or moved on something?"

Eddie explained, "It's risky to make a move without visual confirmation."

Adrian sighed and leaned against a wall. "I know she's here. I can feel it." He took a pull from his cigarette. He rubbed his forehead as he blew out the plume of smoke. "She won't let me in her dreams anymore. Something's happened. Something bad. They re-inked her or something. I don't know. She hasn't used magic in a couple months."

Jill placed a calming hand on his arm. "She'll be okay."

He nodded. They relaxed in the darkness a few minutes and then made their way back to the van. They slept in shifts for the rest of the night. In the morning, they all sat alert for any sign of movement outside the Alchemist headquarters.

In the early afternoon, they finally saw what they were looking for. Sydney walked with a purpose like always. But the difference was that she was no longer the woman Adrian and the others loved. She was cold and distant by her body language. Back to the girl she was when they all first met.

Adrian reached for the handle of the door, but Eddie stopped him.

"Not yet."

"But it's her." Adrian argued.

Eddie gave him a sympathetic look. "And I want to get her to safety as badly as you, but we have protocol."

They watched as she got into a boring black sedan. Rose followed. She ran a few errands and then returned to the headquarters. There was no other sight of her the rest of the day.

"So what do we do?" Adrian asked.

"We break her out." Rose said simply.

"And I suppose you have just the idea?"

"Last time Eddie and I did this, we had a different spirit user, but yeah, I have a plan that is tested and worked swimmingly the last time." She grinned. "And this time we have a second Moroi to help with the compulsion so it's not all on you."

"I'm weak in it." Jill said softly.

"Jill stays behind." Eddie protested.

This got the pair arguing once more.

Adrian stopped it. "Look, I know it's hard to believe, but I think it's a good idea for Jill to help. She's smart and she's fast and she's improved her water magic exponentially over the last several months. I know water isn't the best defensive magic, but it saved your ass a time or two."

Eddie gritted his teeth and then nodded. "Okay. But you stay in the center of the group as much as possible. Don't get more than a few steps away from me. And if you try anything stupid, Jill, so help me—"

Jill cut him off with a kiss. "You need to learn to shut up."

He softened. "And maybe I know you'll stop me with a kiss when I don't."

Adrian and Rose shared an eye roll. "Moving on." Rose said as she lined out how the rescue would work.


End file.
